sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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