Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
