i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
