But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
