I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A bitchslap is in order.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
