if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
