Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
