Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
