Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
