When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
