Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
