The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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