Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
