hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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