if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Someone shit on the floor
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize