just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
