I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
