Im at strip club and am horny
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
