i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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