One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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