would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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