So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
