i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will be naked everywhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
