Duck Duck Cougar?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
