Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
