he wants to bone in the snuggie
barbara walters just said penis...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Randomize
