Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i drank out of a bidet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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