but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
