She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
