my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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