You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
