What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
