Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
