Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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