Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
