Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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