i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Even my vagina gasped.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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