I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
