sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize