I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
