Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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