hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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