just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
