Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize