If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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