He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
