I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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