i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's great music for shaving your balls
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
