I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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