It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize