smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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