I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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