Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
