I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
