it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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