I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
