I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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