Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
