You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
